Today is the anniversary of the most emotional letter I have written for you by far, and it is Valentine’s yet again.
After that night that I cried heaps and missed you without even knowing you yet, I kept asking for you. I kept hoping and I tell you, I did until the last quarter came in and found no sight of you yet. From that point, you became just a nice thing to come by just in case that you would.
I remember asking for you years ago at the start of every year — you consistently score a place in my list from generally “a lovelife” to “the one” — but I realized that all those years were just wishful thinking rather than asking. Just because others are asking for it, then maybe it would be nice to have you too? Okay added.
Just because people are getting it, then it might be the year God would chance to give you too? Okay added.
But it was the last year when I realized that desiring you and asking for you are two different things. And it was such an irony that the same year I deeply desired and asked for you, and afterwards found myself in a cycle of hoping and just trying to hope. I hoped for a slightest chance that last year might be the year my letters would find its owner and my love is finally named..but in the sea of this people how come I still haven’t chanced upon you? Haven’t I stared long enough at the sunsets and have penned letters by the sea for a good God to bring those letters to you somehow?
I started writing letters to you one good sunset while staring at the sea. I do not believe in messages in a bottle but somehow that day I decided to pen letters that might someday find its way to you however. And then one day the same year I penned that excruciating Valentine’s letter, someone came just a little more interested in the letters I penned for you.
Maybe he got amused by the anonymous letters but as I let him through a few more entries, I got him onboard quickly as a member of a growing waiting crew for you. He listened to my waiting tales and I just noticed he got that smile I would’ve imagined seeing when you get a hold of my letters. As we walked along a sea of people exchanging stories, the sun went down that fast and it came to me.
Maybe it wasn’t the sea. It was the sunset. It has always been the sunset that cheered me. It was both a reminder of an end and a beginning – a little cheer for a day that was, and a signal of the time to rest. My avid reader has become both — and end to my waiting and the rest from all those years of doubt of the possibility of meeting the love I have been writing to all these years. So I think it is about time you know the letters were for you. My love, it was nearing the day’s end when I met you and you sounded as delicate as the person I picture in my letters when I first heard your voice.
So listen, I heard you asking me when I would write again, and you hoped to see sweet letters this time. I loved how you said you went through the letters and spent time wondering what you were doing while you were just in my head.
Nearing three months in, how best to tell others through this letter as they read along – that you aren’t nameless and faceless anymore – than make this a sequel to my February letter when I asked for you.
Thank you for coming, thank you for putting an end to the many years of writing letters to someone I never thought would still come by. You are a living proof that God hears my heart more than I could ever put into writing.
And so I’ll end as how I often start my letter, to a dozen more letters you would go back to again and again.
Hello my love. God has been so good to make you come just right on time. Happy Valentine’s. ☺️
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